Musings From My Heart's Canvas...

Am reading a rather unusual book these days. Its called Snow Flower and the Secret Fan. I have just started reading it and as much as i have read, it depicts a custom common in China called Foot Binding. While reading itself i feel it sounds so brutal, that i cant imagine what pain is involved in each stage of the custom. Young girls at the age of six are forced to go thru a mandatory custom called foot binding which is a mandatory preparation for a girl to become perfect for her future husband and In-Law's family. It is painful and involves even breaking of the bones of the feet but is believed to give a girl the perfect small feet which is the most desirable trait for a girl to be married to a good family. Each of their foot is bent in such a manner that the toe touches the heel. After the foot is bent in such a painful position it is bound with tight bandages, and then some pointed shoes are forced into their feet in this awkward state and they are made to walk for some specific amount of time in those shoes. Some days into the process the bones in the toes start to break and blood oozes out of the broken areas! Picturing such a sight is beyond disgust. This procedure is believed to give women the perfect small and pointed feet which will raise their status in society and hence give them a good marriage from high society. I dont want to comment on the custom or the book right now but i was just thinking how lucky i am that i am not a chinese. I cannot imagine the pain that those girls will be going thru at such a tender age!

While reading all this i couldnt help but think why girls all over the world have to go thru something or the other to prepare for their future as wives? I was just thinking how scared i was when i was a small girl and i had to get my ears pierced! I couldnt help but smile when i thought about how much of a fuss i made over small things. I have always been scared of piercings...and i remember my parents struggling in those days to put earrings in my earlobes :) I still remember i was so scared that when the jeweller came the first time i cried and made a whole big scene, i was in my grandma's place then and the jeweller had a traditional equipment to do that! I cried so much that even the neighbours started asking what exactly was happening and why was i crying so much...and when they knew that it was just for piercing my ears...they all laughed at me and said you cant cry for such small things! But i was still small i was just 5 or 6 at that time and it was scary for me!! Back then i coudnt have imagined what pain a chinese girl would have gone thru at that age! Anyways finally i did not get my ears pierced that year and my parents used to buy the stick on or button earrings for me! Guess each culture has something to offer to girls as a preparation for their wedding! In india they say that the parents start preparing for a girl's marriage right from the day she is born! Thats a girl's life is it? The day she is born she starts her long journey of preparing herself for her wedding...making herself pleasing to others so that she should not suffer in her husband's family! I cant argue with why all these things happen only to a girl but i do sometiems muse about these customs and their origin.

How much ever you talk about the Women's liberation and equality for women etc etc...nothing changes at its Roots. I can still remember the days when i was just a small girl and my mom used to tell me to learn things cuz i was a girl. Its always so common to see indian mothers telling their daughters learn cooking, learn cleaning, learn to be patient learn to be tolerant etc etc. Ok if these are the qualities of a WIFE why cant the boys be taught everything from their childhood as well? Why dont they learn their responsibilities from their childhood? why is it so that the boys parents allow their boys to get as spoilt as possible and wait for their Daughter-in-Law to come. They expect the daughter-in-Law to come equipped with necessary qualities to correct their spoilt brat!? Why are the sons not taught the skills of treating a lady right, or caring for others or financial stability by saving for the future etc etc from their childhood, so that by the time they get married they are atleast ready to become true HUSBANDS? They being bachelors are allowed to do everything, go every place, eat and drink every spoilt thing but when a girl does the same things they say she wil not get a good groom if she continues to do that!! Why are their no rules or preparations for the groom but only for the bride?? I know many people will say that things like this dont happen in present days, and guys are better than what i am depicting above, but even i have crossed the stage where my parents were looking for alliances for me and i know how safe and pure a girl has to keep herself if she has to get married in a respectable manner to a good guy from a respectable family.

Anyways...reading about the unusual and painful tradition in China, i was just too stirred to remember my childhood days. I still remember how much of a doll i was to my dad, i was almost inseparable from him. To him i was the most precious thing he would thrive for in his life. I can imagine what he would have gone thru when he was giving my hands in another person's hand. All that he and my mom went thru in preparing me for this day was finally coming to happen. And i know soon i will be going thru the same circle of event that they went thru in their lives...thats the Circle of Life!

Strange but true...how many ever changes you challenge to impose on this one circle...the core of it remains same. Life is short and goes in a circle...we just keep shuffling ourselves from one circle to the other...while our life circle remains just the same!