Musings From My Heart's Canvas...

Prologue: The Wedding

Is it possible, I wonder, for a man to truly change? Or do Character and Habit form the immovable boundaries of our lives?


I am not gonna ask each and every person i meet to comment on the question that attracted me to the book but i surely do wanna know THE answer to this question. I was talking to one of my friends about these things and he said yes people do change!! He gave me examples about how much he has changed...how much his dad has changed etc etc. Fair enough...may be people change...but i feel what actually changes in a person is just his behaviour and habits...and may be point of view!

Character i feel is a more rigid concept and often cannot be changed! Lemme quote something from what my "Character" is. As i remember myself as and what i know i am...i am the kind of person who has always been more of a people oriented person. More involved in building relationships, making people feel comfortable in my company, having fun and most of all just getting away from any kind of things that can make me tensed. To me what another person thnks about me is kind of a very important thing. Its easy to make me cry as i get hurt easily. But at teh same time its easy to make me laugh also...even small joys can give me alot of happiness. I love to laugh and be completely care free about the major things/issues in life! I have always been the homely kind...decorating home, learning something creative, making artifacts etc etc. I have loved music forever...i always wanted to be able to play some instrument or the other...especially guitar...to sing well...to listen to music whenever i get time.

Well thats a little peep into my Character and may be my hobbies...which are again an extension of my character. Over the years when i have lived far from my family, when i had people around me bitching and backbiting, when i have faced politicts at work place to personal life, when i have seen some really difficult times to some really good and enjoyable times...i guess i have seen and learnt alot. Well everyone learns from experience and so have I. And i know after learning so many things in life...your attitude towards numerous things changes. For ex: when i first started working i used to love my work and respect my managers and use to be happy doing that. I was satisfied with whatever i was doing and never thought that there will be a change to that life...with my manager having a good rapport with me and me enjoying everyday at my work place...i never thought that if a bad time comes no one will think of the good times that we shared...or if i was a good person or not...that i will be dumped out of project cuz of insufficient billing etc etc. I never realised that it was just a job...not a personal thing. As time passed and i worked under different managers and different kind of projects i learnt different realities of work life. And now i have learnt how to handle my work...i know how much priority to be given for what. So i can say...my attitude has changed (Thats still not my character that changed).

Similarly it might happen that i have a point of view about something cuz i am not completely aware of that thing. Some day in my life i learn more about it and that day i realise that what i had been thinking about it all this while was actually wrong. So my point of view changes (Its still not your character that changed).

Similarly say you stay in a place like Adyar, Chennai. Now you have a newspaper mart about 100 feet from your house and you love looking for sales around the city everyday which you get to see in the newspaper. So you started picking the newspaper on the way to office everyday and while you were just interested in looking for sales you kind of started observing the headlines and reading some other news in the paper as well. Finally after a few days it became a habit for you 2 start your day with reading the newspaper on the way commuting to your office everyday. You enjoyed doing that and i guess it became your habit and hobby both. Now you had a change of office or place etc. You dont have any newspaper mart close to the new place of stay. For the first few days you try getting a newspaper cuz you try going out of your way and getting a newspaper. But gradually you stop doing that and find other ways of keeping yourself entertained like may be listening to music on your way commuting to the new office etc. So i guess your hobby/habit changed (Not your character). Now you enjoy listening to music more than reading the newspaper. Not that you will not read a newspaper if you got a chance to do that but right now that is not the priority in your list of things to do for the day.

Similarly your likings and dislikings can change. Say for example that you liked a particular sandwich in your office alot. You liked it because may be it was really good or may be because it was the only breakfast you could have in office thatw as decent enough. Not that there are no better sandwiches in the whole of world. You move to a newer office and start liking another sandwich here...may be cuz it tastes better that the previous one or may be because its the only thing available for you. All i am trying to say is that as per the circumstances your likings might (or might not) change. It might have happened initially that you dont like sandwches at all...you would rather have cornflakes for breakfast...but you couldnt have it then cuz of circumstances you started liking the sandwiches. Its just that your liking to a particular thing is very vulnerable to your surroundings and circumstances. But at most times, not actually your character.


Like for me...if i say my current likings/hobbies are...cooking, knitting, reading (which i never was good at), walking (which always made me tired in the past), Photography (which is one of my newly found passions)...i can very confidently say that most of these things were not my likings before...even if they always existed burried inside my character sometime...while some of your likings are very vulnerable to your surroundings...some others are just too deeply rooted in your inner character to be removed or changed.

The Dictionary defines Character as The aggregate of features and traits that form the individual nature of some person or thing. It defines Habit as An acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary. Thats exactly what i was trying to accomplish through my contemplation. Character I feel is something so deeply rooted that its hard to change and often does not change while Habit on the other hand is very vulnerable to our environment and circumstances and hence more succeptible to change. To answer the author's question i would say that yes Character and Habit do form immovable boundaries in our lives but not totally immovable while some Habits do change, some are just too deep rooted to our individual character to change.

Of course Change is t he wheeler-dealer who propels the world to its existence and hence even my opinion about Character might change sometime, but as of now these are my thoughts, my conclusion after my contemplation journey.