Happy Valentine's Day.. :)

Wishing everyone a very happy Valentine's Day...ya i know am a day late in wishing...but i jus hope all had a good one...a really memorable one.. :)


No i am not really gonna share my Valentine's Day secrets with you...cuz being away from my sweet hubby doesnt really make any celebration worthwhile for me...but that doesnt mean i am gonna let go of this greatest celebration of Love pass by without even writing or talking about it... :)

I am so sure so many of us would have mused about the existence of a whole day to celebrate Love... and many of us would have actually delved into google and wiki to know the history of Valentines...where and how did anyone ever start to celebrate such a thing. Even i did my research aboout it and while i read thru different links on google and wiki...all i could end up with is...its just a Day for celebrating LOVE!! The greatest emotion of all... :)


I guess there are more tales about the origin of Valentines or Valentines day that there are arrows in cupid's quiver.. :) One Legend talks about a Saint named Valentine who used to perform secret marriages when the Roman Emperor Claudius II had established a rule that soldiers should remain single during their service tenure...Many more legends talk about some Saint or Priest who was executed or martyred on Feb 14th...some talk about Feb 14th as a starting date when birds come to find their mates...while others state that Valentine was a Christian who was imprisoned for his faith and while he was in sentence he fell in love with the jailors daughter...was execuuted on Feb 14th 269 A.D...and before he was executed had sent a letter to the jailor's daughter stating "From your Valentine"

The first Valentine Card is believed to have been sent by Charles, Duke of Orleans to his Wife in 1415, when he was a prisoner in the Tower of London. Its still on display at the British museum...By 1450 Valentine was the name of one's Sweetheart...By 1530 it was a folded piece of paper...In 1610 "Valentines" were gifts given to sweethearts...In the 1800's it again meant messages exchanged by couples...With so many definitions and legends for "Valentines", the next time someone asks you to be their Valentine...you might want to be sure they dont want you to be their martyr.. :)

But for sentimentals in love...even becoming a martyr for their love...just means an expression of Love...no wonder so many people were slayed/executed/burried/martyred for their Love...be it the love for their faith or for their sweetheart...We are blessed to have been born in an era where we do not have to often give up our lives to express our love...there are far more impoverished and interesting ways of doing it.. :)


When you read about Valentines day celebrations throughout the world...you can very well qoute different ways in which people around the world commemorate this great celebration of love...in some countries the lovers gift each other flowers...while in some countries they send out cakes made out of chocolate...while some countries they send out heart and cupid shaped gifts and confectionaries...while in some countries like korea...the guy gifts chocolates to their sweethearts while the girl in return gifts non chocolate candies to the man...the whole world has different ways of celebrating this great commemoration of love...but the bottomline still remains the same...celebrate LOVE...
Sadly when we read about Valentine's day celebrations in the past few years in countries like India, Pakistan etc...we can only qoute of different religious groups opposing this celebration by giving hollow reasons like its a way of contamintaing their divine culture...or spreading Christianity in a non christian dominant nation...or even things like its an unnecessary attempt of westerners to impose their culture on us etc etc...when the whole world is uniting in one simple celebration of Love...some protectors of religion/culture cant protect/support celebration of the greatest emotion in all religions...LOVE...thats irony!!!


Just hoping that this Valentine's no one has to take the martyr way to prove/express their love...cuz atleast in my view...dying to express how much u love a person is just not the done thing...one can just express their stupidity by doing so...cuz if u really love a person u will want 2 LIVE for them...to show them how beautiful their life can be with all the love u give them... :)

The First 30..

I have finished the first 30 days of my married life...though its quite a happy thing...and i am happy about it also...but i really dont feel as excited as i had always anticipated it to be!! i cant believe it that i dint even stay for a whole one month with my husband...out of the 30 days...i stayed only for about 18 days with him. That was way too less time together...and with Valentine's Day over the weekend...i just dont feel happy :(
I never imagined myself as what i am now...i used to tell all my friends that i will leave my job as soon as i get married and have a long long honeymoon...i will wear a new saree everyday...i will cook new dishes everyday...go to new movies on all weekends...etc etc...i had a catalogue in my mind that was just going on getting appended right from the day i thought about marriage! i dont even remember when i started imagining my marriage...right from the days when i was a small girl...i had imagined what kind of a man i would marry...what kind of a dress i would wear...what kind of a cake i would cut for the reception...what all and what not!! And today when i see myself...i cant help but be sad that i am not with him even before a month got over! Is it someone's mistake or was it jus meant to be this way? whatever be it...i know one things for sure...its not easy for me...and i know no one understands what i mean cuz everyone...including my own mom never left her husband!! if i stayed with him a lifetime and was now away for a while i would have still not been this sad...but i hardly spent any time at all...whatever time was there...was almost stolen completely by relatives, rituals, etc etc
So many thoughts hit me whenever i think about my few days with him...but all i can say is...whatever it was...it was just not ENOUGH...
I wish i could be wherever he is now!! i miss him...very very much!!

How much tolerance is tolerable?

One of my friends commented on one of my prev posts saying things all fall in place with patience, love and God's Grace. That no doubt is true and i totally believe in that...but there are alot more of things that it takes to set things right...be it in a relationship or in work or in anything that matters! :)

Tolerance:The dictionary describes Tolerance as The act or capacity of enduring. Thats true...Endurance...but how much endurance is the "Limit"? whatever i am wondering might sound weird to many of you but i really cant find an answer to this!! When we hear of Tolerance the first thing that comes to mind is, some kind of injustice happening to someone, some kind of suffering, pain etc etc! What i am trying to say here is that whenever we talk about Tolerance we always, atleast mostly associate it with some kind of negative things! But thats not actually what i am thinking, i am not talking about Tolerance in some painful situation, rather i am thinking of tolerance in every aspect of life...in everything that matters in our daily nitty gritty!

Picture this scenario...you have a dear friend, whom you love and respect alot. no one's perfect and you know certain flaws in your friend as well. While you dont mind some of the flaws/habits, you really are stern about some others...you want your friend to realise that those bad habits will not prove good for him/her in the long run. Your friend agrees on giving up the bad things and transforming himself/herself cuz he/she cares for you as much as you do. You start having a even closer friendship with your friend and he/she becomes an essential part of your life cuz there was sacrifice and transformation involved. You are happy with your friend but suddenly one day you realise all this while your friend has been lying to you. He/She never left those bad habits but just hid it from you! Now this friend could have done that for two reasons...One: He/She dint want to lose friendship with you becuz of some flaw within him/her self. Two: This friend was scared of hurting you by letting you know that he/she was unable to get rid of the bad habits! Whatever be the reason, in my dictionary of life something thats wrong is NOT right, no matter what. I mean if the friend really was a true friend, he/she would have left his/her bad habits for the sake of your friendship, no matter wshat cuz your friendship should have been more important (than any stupid habit) for him/her. And moreover if your friend is scared enough to not let his/her true self be visible to you, then it just will not be true friendship! For me a FRIEND is someone who knows all your flaws and still loves you...definitely tries to correct your flaws cuz if a friend will not correct you then who else will? Now picturing such a scenario...should you have been tolerable enough to let go or should you have given up on your friend? Its not easy to let go of relationships so easily in life...Moreover you have loved this friend so much and made him/her a part of your life...So you decide to give this friend another chance...and he/she proves you wrong not once or twice but numerous times...whenever you gave him/her a chance...just couldnt get rid of the bad habits even for your sake! And now you sit and think...should i be more tolerant to forgive and forget? This is someone whom you trusted more than your own blood...and shared a part of yourself with...and here you sit being hurt so deeply. Should you be more tolerant? How much tolerance is tolerable?

Picture another scenario...you are a super talented person and are pursuing a goal for the past many years. Now you are on the verge of achieving your goal when suddenly something goes wrong. The most important instrument required for achieving your goal stops working! Moreover the authority who is supposed to sign off your achievement stops supporting you. You know that you have to achieve your goal before its too late. You are determined on achieving your goal and you make all the efforts to set things right. You feel even if you dont have anyone's support you still can do wonders with hard work and you will succeed...well that is what i remember was taught to us way back in school! So you work harder than what your calibre allows you to and make everything work right for achieving your goal. You finish almost major part of your work in lesser time and approach your superior authority to get a sign off. Your authority simply doesnt appreciate your efforts rather suggests some changes...which he suggests very simply...but will take almost double the effort than what you already did. You get vexed up and try contacting friends for some moral support. Obviously what you are going thru is something, even if others understand they cannot go thru for you! So feeling defeated you still try to hold on. You again strengthen up your determination and work as hard as can be defined in the books. And when you are approaching the deadline, you realise things arent working the way they are supposed to. And moreover you still have loads more to achieve before you can finally succeed! Your family by now believes you have spent way too much time and effort on achieving your goal and are just simply wasting time. You know how passionate you are about achieving your goal, but you dont have mental or physical strength anymore. It is so easy to give up! This has been the only goal you have been trying to achieve for past many years...you have given even your soul into it...you have worked harder than what you could have...and whatevers going wrong is not something that you can help! It is so easy to wrap it up and just throw it away...and just walk away...and still so much more difficult! Should you be more tolerant? Should you be more stronger? How much strength is tolerable?

Sometimes...i feel some situations just dont fit into a category where principles can be applied...and may be its better to let go of such things and stop analysing them...Life always goes on...and all we have to decide is whether the situation or the person is more important in our lives...and when we decide that i guess the significance of "Tolerance" vanishes!!

A Tune to linger..

One of the many things thats gonna remind me of Bangalore...some of the very few first days that i got to spend with my dear hubby...some of the few places we visited and some of the few nok jhoks we had...all the things that will always bring a smile to my face whenever i will think of them...some of the few small things that have become the sweetest memories for a lifetime...one more addition to the small list of these sweet things is this song which had to secure a place in my blog cuz i just cant stop humming it... :)

A very simple song with unique lyrics...not even a very intricately designed song...not much melody to it either...and still i catch it as a song i will never forget...as a song that kept getting played on the bangalore FMs again and again and somehow made me enjoy the song so much that now is one of my fave songs...am jus too hooked on this one.. :)


Aisi uljhi nazar unse hatt ti nahi
Daant se reshmi dor katt ti nahi

Umr kab ki baras ke sufaid ho gayi
Kaari badri jawani ki chatt ti nahi
Walla ye dhadkan badhne lagi hai
Chehre ki rangat udne lagi hai
Darr lagta hai tanha sone mein ji
Dil toh bacha hai ji
Dil toh bacha hai ji
Thoda kacha hai ji

Actually i like the whole song each and every line of it...but the best line i like is:
Hai zor karein kitna shor karein
Bewajah baaton pe ainwe gaur karein
Dil sa koi kameena nahi
And i go on...i jus cant stop singing this song... :)

Memoirs of the Genesis..

Memoirs...does that sound like i have spent a lifetime and setting out to write Memoirs from my life!!!
Not literally but ya...i feel like i've already spent a LIFETIME away from my Life my Husband...its been about a week since i saw him and it already feels like a Lifetime...it really is difficult to stay away from your love after the wedding...Things become really terrible...you feel that keeping yourself busy is one way to escape the pain...indulging in some life improving activities is another way of forgetting about it...but how many ever ways you tend to invent to stay away from the pain...the only thoughts that you are gonna end up with are finally HIS!!

Its so true...i have started work, i have started cooking, i have started talking to my old friends...but still all i can think about is HIM...the only thought that makes me alive is that when and how can we be together in a more practical way...practical cuz i dont want to act stupid by getting overwhelmed by my emotions and doing something that i will regret the rest of my life...sometimes i feel that staying away from your husband after just 10 days of your wedding itself is a stupid thing...but i guess lifes no more as easy at it used to be about 10 yrs back!!!

Living miles away from him...the memories of our days together leave a smile on my face...a pain of not being with him...and also a longing to experience the same...i wish i could turn back time and make it stop on those blessed days...but ya i cant stop going on dreamin...reality is...i am here now and i miss those days...lot of my married frnds used 2 tell me that the first few months after the marriage is what is the most important thing in deciding your future happiness as a family...i cant comment on whether its true or not...but i can surely say i wanted to experience that importance...i wanted to be there to know what it feels like!! being here i dont even feel like i am married anymore!! i dont feel like i am experiencing whatever a newly wedded girl should have been experiencing...i feel sad to be so far from my family...i feel sad to be alone here... :(

The memories of my first few days with my husband will always be very special to me...whether there were nok jhoks or debates or roothna manana or naaraazgi or pyari baatein or pyare sapne...all i know is there was what i miss now!!

The art of understanding ur Husband..

Some of the first few things that every girl does after getting married...getting to know your new family...the realisation that you do not belong to your parents anymore...that now onwards you are going to be associated with your husband everywhere...this realisation comes once you are out of your honeymoon days... and step into the real new family. You see everyone eager to meet you, everyone trying to grab a free slot in the day to invite you for lunch, dinner,snacks etc etc...and once you step into your new family you have to be a part of knowing what your new family is all about...who actually is your extended family, husbands siblings, cousins, uncles aunts, close friends etc etc...its a whole lot of new things for the new bride...and at each and every step she has to trust her husband for that...she doesnt know anything about these new things...and has to be led by her husband...in what way to behave with the family, what to talk...what not to talk...what to ask...where not to go...etc etc...and for all this THE most important person...the immediate help...is your own HUSBAND.. :)


How much a girl needs to trust her husband when she has left a whole big loving family to become a part of a completely new family...where she doesnt know anyone...whom there might not be anyone whom she can call her own...except her sweet husband...and for this kind of sweetness for your husband...you gotto learn about him first dear bride.. :)


Many of my spinster frnds will be eager enuff to say...this is why they give the courting time between engagement and wedding so that the husband and wife (To Be) can get to know each other better...so that they can understand each other...their likings...their strengths, weaknesses, angry nerve, etc etc...but trust me dear frnds...whatever may be the amount of courting time you get...you will never know your husband when he is your Fiance'.


Some of my married frnds told me...Life starts after Marriage...and now i agree with all of them who told me that...some of the elders adviced me saying life with your fiance' is much different than life with the same guy when he becomes your husband...Hats off to all your experience...cuz after more than a year of courting time for me i was damn sure that i know my man more than the required amount...but as experience counts...i am grounded to believe the prior.. :)


Life does start with Marriage...actually a whole new life starts after Marriage...cuz you not only belong to a new world...you are also part of a new being...someone's made you a part of his life...and thats a very BIG thing...you begin to lose control over your own life cuz may be when you were a spinster you lived your life at your own terms...you did whatever YOU wanted to do...but now you start doing things for someone else...for your husband...you dress the way he likes it...you do your hair the way he likes it...you cook wat he likes to eat...you hear his music...you go places where he takes you...you talk the way he tells/likes you to talk...you start doing things which he likes...making him happy...and gradually before you know...his likes become yours...living his way becomes your way of life...and you become his...and that is when the trust starts sprouting from within...cuz by now...you have become a part of him and he a part of you...or what we call as one soul in two beings...
One thing worth noticing in whatever i wrote above is...i have written from the point of view of a newly wedded bride...but the newly wedded groom aslo goes thru a phase of understanding his better half...of a completely new phase of knowing why she is his BETTER half...he learns to know his flaws which are rightly surrogated by his wife...he learns that there is someone who is making an ample effort to provide for him that he had always wanted from a partner...he understands that this someone is the one whose gonna fulfill all that he dreamt of being a bachelor for his future...he learns all the ways in which she is moulding herself to become one with him...and that is when he realizes that he has a new responsibility...someones thrusting her whole trust on him for everything...and that is when he learns to please his wife...to provide her with all the support that she is expecting of him...learns to provide her with all the love that she needs the most at this time...and all this finally unites the wedded couple in oneness.
But things are often not as simple as written above...each step each phase takes time...takes efforts...takes courage...takes patience...there are times when you have to learn to GIVE without asking back...and there are other times when you have to learn to shed off your EGO...there are times when you have to know that you have to LET GO of the mistakes...while there are times when you have to learn to SAY NO to mistakes...you have to learn to become a good decision maker when situations put you in a judgement call on matters that matter...
No One's perfect...neither you nor your spouse...but you have to learn to mould your imperfections to lead to a perfect marriage...The art of understanding your husband is neither easy nor tough...not easy cuz you are learning a whole new person...not tough cuz that is the way of life for you now on...Its a lot of mixed emotions...and its necessary for a girl that she become a WIFE before she becomes a mother...cuz the art of understanding her husband takes her thru a journey which make her a true WOMAN...THE most important change in a girl's life that will transform her from being just a girl to a real WOMAN.

Am Married.. :)

I am MARRIED!!


Yess finally i am married and i am too happy about it...the feeling that you own someone in your life...and that you belong to someone at the same time...its jus too sparkling...i've been longing for this status for so many days...not that i was desperate...but just that i wanted to really belong to someone...actually be a part of someone's life...

As every girl does...i also dreamt of my wedding right from when i was just a child...i dreamt of a white wedding gown...in a small chapel...an alter with an arch of white lilies...with alot of flowers around me...a huge wedding cake...me walking the aisle with my dad...with my whole family beside me...with a lot of people greeting me...blessing me...but most of all...i dreamt of a man...a man who will love me like the way i had read in books and seen in movies...(i know thats too unreal...but c'mon i am jus talking of all that i ever dreamt)...my dad giving my hand in his hands...me holding his hands with pure love and trust...looking into his eyes and blushing demurely...happily conceding my whole life in his hands...and i am HIS.


I dreamt of a perfect wedding...but more of a perfect Husband...and though nothings perfect in this world...i got perfectly what i always wanted...a perfect wedding with a loving man.. :)

To My LIFE...

I am married...and i belong to you...you own me and i own you...i really want to spend this lifetime loving you and living for you...for in you i have found everything that i always dreamt of...Thank you so much for making me yours.

Some words from the song i wanted to sing for our WEDDING..
From this moment, Life has begun
From this moment, You are the one
Right beside you is where i belong
From this moment on...
From this moment i have been blessed
I Live only for your happiness
and for your love, i'd give my last breath
From this moment on...
From this moment as long as i live
i will love you, i promise you this
there is nothing i wouldnt give
From this moment on...
You're the reason i believe in Love
and you're the answer to my prayers from up above
You and i will never be apart
My dreams came true because of you...
I will Love you, as long as i live
From this moment on...
-Shania Twain

I do swear that i will always be there. i'd give anything and everything and i will always care. Through weakness and strength, happiness and sorrow, for better for worse, i will love you with every beat of my heart.

I am MARRIED to you and i wanna cherish this for my lifetime.. :)