Musings From My Heart's Canvas...

Some of the first few things that every girl does after getting married...getting to know your new family...the realisation that you do not belong to your parents anymore...that now onwards you are going to be associated with your husband everywhere...this realisation comes once you are out of your honeymoon days... and step into the real new family. You see everyone eager to meet you, everyone trying to grab a free slot in the day to invite you for lunch, dinner,snacks etc etc...and once you step into your new family you have to be a part of knowing what your new family is all about...who actually is your extended family, husbands siblings, cousins, uncles aunts, close friends etc etc...its a whole lot of new things for the new bride...and at each and every step she has to trust her husband for that...she doesnt know anything about these new things...and has to be led by her husband...in what way to behave with the family, what to talk...what not to talk...what to ask...where not to go...etc etc...and for all this THE most important person...the immediate help...is your own HUSBAND.. :)


How much a girl needs to trust her husband when she has left a whole big loving family to become a part of a completely new family...where she doesnt know anyone...whom there might not be anyone whom she can call her own...except her sweet husband...and for this kind of sweetness for your husband...you gotto learn about him first dear bride.. :)


Many of my spinster frnds will be eager enuff to say...this is why they give the courting time between engagement and wedding so that the husband and wife (To Be) can get to know each other better...so that they can understand each other...their likings...their strengths, weaknesses, angry nerve, etc etc...but trust me dear frnds...whatever may be the amount of courting time you get...you will never know your husband when he is your Fiance'.


Some of my married frnds told me...Life starts after Marriage...and now i agree with all of them who told me that...some of the elders adviced me saying life with your fiance' is much different than life with the same guy when he becomes your husband...Hats off to all your experience...cuz after more than a year of courting time for me i was damn sure that i know my man more than the required amount...but as experience counts...i am grounded to believe the prior.. :)


Life does start with Marriage...actually a whole new life starts after Marriage...cuz you not only belong to a new world...you are also part of a new being...someone's made you a part of his life...and thats a very BIG thing...you begin to lose control over your own life cuz may be when you were a spinster you lived your life at your own terms...you did whatever YOU wanted to do...but now you start doing things for someone else...for your husband...you dress the way he likes it...you do your hair the way he likes it...you cook wat he likes to eat...you hear his music...you go places where he takes you...you talk the way he tells/likes you to talk...you start doing things which he likes...making him happy...and gradually before you know...his likes become yours...living his way becomes your way of life...and you become his...and that is when the trust starts sprouting from within...cuz by now...you have become a part of him and he a part of you...or what we call as one soul in two beings...
One thing worth noticing in whatever i wrote above is...i have written from the point of view of a newly wedded bride...but the newly wedded groom aslo goes thru a phase of understanding his better half...of a completely new phase of knowing why she is his BETTER half...he learns to know his flaws which are rightly surrogated by his wife...he learns that there is someone who is making an ample effort to provide for him that he had always wanted from a partner...he understands that this someone is the one whose gonna fulfill all that he dreamt of being a bachelor for his future...he learns all the ways in which she is moulding herself to become one with him...and that is when he realizes that he has a new responsibility...someones thrusting her whole trust on him for everything...and that is when he learns to please his wife...to provide her with all the support that she is expecting of him...learns to provide her with all the love that she needs the most at this time...and all this finally unites the wedded couple in oneness.
But things are often not as simple as written above...each step each phase takes time...takes efforts...takes courage...takes patience...there are times when you have to learn to GIVE without asking back...and there are other times when you have to learn to shed off your EGO...there are times when you have to know that you have to LET GO of the mistakes...while there are times when you have to learn to SAY NO to mistakes...you have to learn to become a good decision maker when situations put you in a judgement call on matters that matter...
No One's perfect...neither you nor your spouse...but you have to learn to mould your imperfections to lead to a perfect marriage...The art of understanding your husband is neither easy nor tough...not easy cuz you are learning a whole new person...not tough cuz that is the way of life for you now on...Its a lot of mixed emotions...and its necessary for a girl that she become a WIFE before she becomes a mother...cuz the art of understanding her husband takes her thru a journey which make her a true WOMAN...THE most important change in a girl's life that will transform her from being just a girl to a real WOMAN.