Musings From My Heart's Canvas...

Memoirs...does that sound like i have spent a lifetime and setting out to write Memoirs from my life!!!
Not literally but ya...i feel like i've already spent a LIFETIME away from my Life my Husband...its been about a week since i saw him and it already feels like a Lifetime...it really is difficult to stay away from your love after the wedding...Things become really terrible...you feel that keeping yourself busy is one way to escape the pain...indulging in some life improving activities is another way of forgetting about it...but how many ever ways you tend to invent to stay away from the pain...the only thoughts that you are gonna end up with are finally HIS!!

Its so true...i have started work, i have started cooking, i have started talking to my old friends...but still all i can think about is HIM...the only thought that makes me alive is that when and how can we be together in a more practical way...practical cuz i dont want to act stupid by getting overwhelmed by my emotions and doing something that i will regret the rest of my life...sometimes i feel that staying away from your husband after just 10 days of your wedding itself is a stupid thing...but i guess lifes no more as easy at it used to be about 10 yrs back!!!

Living miles away from him...the memories of our days together leave a smile on my face...a pain of not being with him...and also a longing to experience the same...i wish i could turn back time and make it stop on those blessed days...but ya i cant stop going on dreamin...reality is...i am here now and i miss those days...lot of my married frnds used 2 tell me that the first few months after the marriage is what is the most important thing in deciding your future happiness as a family...i cant comment on whether its true or not...but i can surely say i wanted to experience that importance...i wanted to be there to know what it feels like!! being here i dont even feel like i am married anymore!! i dont feel like i am experiencing whatever a newly wedded girl should have been experiencing...i feel sad to be so far from my family...i feel sad to be alone here... :(

The memories of my first few days with my husband will always be very special to me...whether there were nok jhoks or debates or roothna manana or naaraazgi or pyari baatein or pyare sapne...all i know is there was what i miss now!!